Keturah A. Ford

There are many things that can be said about Selah Marley’s (Lauren Hill’s daughter) recent video — https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/9432626/selah-marley-talks-childhood-trauma-clarifies-dont-go-bashing-parents.

I won’t offer any deep interpretation, but I was extremely interested in Selah’s discussion about her approach to #sex and relationships.

I know some women can relate as we remember the emptiness and confusion that came with NOT yet realizing just how valuable our bodies, time, and hearts were.

For some of us, sex became “a thing” to fill a void and receive attention. However, no relationship gave us what we truly needed as our inner longings cried out for MORE…

As someone who is not ashamed to divulge my past in order to help someone’s future, I will simply share a few things I’ve learned about God’s view of me, sex, and the plan He had for me all along:

• My body was quite valuable.
Sex wasn’t simply something to do or an activity I should be engaging in with just anybody (besides my husband). 1 Corinthians 6:20 tells us that, “We were bought with a price. Therefore, glorify God with our bodies.” I began to understand that I and my body were held in high regard by Jesus Christ who died for me. My acceptance of Him as my Savior required a beautiful surrender of my will. This would work in my favor as God desired to “protect” me from the many pitfalls of seeking sex. No longer did I have to wonder if I was “valuable” in meaningless relationships. I learned that I was wanted and pursued with the greatest demonstrated love of all – the love of God according to John 3:16.

• God’s invitation meant something.
I felt like the woman at the water well in John 4 as Jesus offered a woman (who’d had five husbands and a current boo-thing) something “real” to drink. The Lord’s invitation to leave my “thirst” behind meant that He desired to address my baggage, old relationship wounds, and the trauma experienced as a result of unfulfilled emotional expectations of my first sexual experience in young adulthood. I was so broken, but God had invited me into His presence of grace, acceptance, and healing.

• A new life awaited me.
I could thrive and not just merely survive as a woman. There is complete truth to the scripture – “If any person be in Christ, they are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). And a new life for me meant a new “seeking” experience. Instead of linking up with “friends” to go to clubs, I stayed home more, read the Bible for myself, went on dates – alone, and attended Christian singles support groups. I prayed A LOT and had others praying for me too. I also traveled a bit and explored other hobbies. I began volunteering at church. I explored career options and purposeful projects. I remained accountable to wise people. My new life was different, but it grew on me. I lived alone and I had moments where it got hard, but the peace I discovered in this process was #priceless.

Today I continue to share my story as God has also allowed me to mentor and teach. I’ve been married for fifteen years and understand more now the complexities of “why” deeming my life + body as precious was crucial. #GodIsGood

Have questions? Desire to connect? I’m one email away…

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